I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
