Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
