If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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