my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
