ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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