AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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