I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
