She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
