Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Someone came in the potted fern
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
