You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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