there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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