There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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