the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
