I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
