Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
