woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Randomize
