I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
why is half of my head shaved?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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