Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
