I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
