You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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