I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize