I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you made out with another girl for some wings
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
