i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
