the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
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she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
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Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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