Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
