so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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