Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
