He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
