Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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