Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
