I'm really into asian looking animals
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
