the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The uberlube is also flammable
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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