just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Porn is love you can see.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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