I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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