do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
