she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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