your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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