If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
