At least make sure they are 18
Why
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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