i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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