Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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