you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
