you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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