I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
