he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
