Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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