I heard we made out
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
