That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
