69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
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i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
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there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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