I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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