I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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