wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
