Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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