This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
