After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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