you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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