Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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