as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize