So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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