we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
