dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
