at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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